December 10, 2023


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Ron DeSantis Creates ‘Florida Man’ CDC, Gonna Sue All The Vaccines

4 min read
Ron DeSantis Creates 'Florida Man' CDC, Gonna Sue All The Vaccines

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is either a sociopath, or he’s out out of his goddamn mind. There is literally no other explanation for this.

This fuckin’ guy just convened an anti-vaxx roundtable with his quack Surgeon General Joseph “The Dope” Ladapo, to announce that he wants to indict the pharmaceutical companies who make coronavirus vaccines. These companies saved the country from a goddamn pandemic, and he wants to throw them in jail for it!

“In Florida, it is against the law to mislead and to misrepresent, particularly when you’re talking about the efficacy of a drug,” DeSantis droned, likening the vaccine producers to the drug companies which got the country addicted to opioids by lying about their addictive properties.

“Today I’m announcing a petition with the Supreme Court of Florida to impanel a statewide grand jury to investigate any and all wrongdoing in Florida with respect to COVID-19 vaccines,” he went on, promising to bring “legal accountability for those who committed misconduct.”

DeSantis then ceded the floor to Dr. Ladapo, a nutjob who promoted hydroxychloroquine as a COVID treatment and counseled against vaccinating children. Ladapo then launched into a disquisition on the link between mRNA vaccines for coronavirus and myocarditis and pericarditis in adolescents, touting a Florida study which found an 84 percent increase in these events post-vaccine.

Indeed, there is some connection between the vaccines and cardiac events in adolescents, as the Centers for Disease Control acknowledges. But the sky high risk numbers from the unpublished, preliminary study Florida is relying on have never been replicated anywhere else, for reasons laid out in detail by

In reality, the risks from the vaccines are vastly outweighed by the risk from coronavirus itself, which has killed upwards of a million Americans already. And that is why the CDC has “determined that the benefits (such as prevention of COVID-19 cases and its severe outcomes) outweigh the risks of myocarditis and pericarditis after receipt of mRNA COVID-19 vaccines.”

But Ron DeSantis has an answer for that, and it is to say that the CDC is a bunch of Deep State wokesters who can safely be ignored.

“Our CDC, at this point, anything they put out, you just assume, at this point, that it’s not worth the paper it’s printed on it. So it’s not serving a useful function, it’s really serving to advance narratives, rather than do evidence-based medicine,” DeSantis said, adding that “CDC will say these things, and then people will think ‘well, because they’re saying it, we have to do it.’ And maybe not quite as much any more, ’cause people have lost confidence, but you still see it.”

Imagine being relieved that your smear campaign had successfully destroyed public trust in scientifically accurate public health measures.

But DeSantis isn’t done yet.

“Other governors and I have talked about having a panel of experts who can counteract nonsense when it’s coming out of these institutions. That are not going to just go along with the flow and follow precooked narratives, but will actually do evidence-based analysis,” he went on, announcing the formation of a Public Health Integrity Committee, which continues in the great Orwellian tradition of conservative institutions by doing exactly the opposite of what its title suggests.

“It’s a committee of expert researchers that will be able to assess recommendations and guidance related to public health and health care, but particularly being able to offer critical assessments of things that bureaucracies like the FDA, CDC, and NIH are doing,” he continued promising to install “folks who people actually can rely on when they’re looking to answers and when they’re looking for guidance on some of these really really important issues.”

So, the state of Florida is going to round up a bunch of hacks to attack legitimate public health measures in an effort to counter inconvenient “narratives” endorsed by the mainstream medical community. Maybe they can get Dr. Stella “Demon Sperm” Immanuel. Or Dr. Simone Gold, the leader of the anti-vaxx ivermectin match site America’s Frontline Doctors. Or, hell, why not Dr. Peter Navarro?

Jiminy Fucking Christmas, these people will not rest until they bring back the bubonic plague.

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